Does mine look normal?

I wanted to kick off this blog series by tackling one of our most frequently asked questions and also outline the purpose of this blog will be to educate, empower and have a laugh. It will be kept light hearted with no “naming and shaming“, so rest assured, your sessions will still remain confidential.

A common question I get asked from many female clients, is if their genitals look normal.

When I first started out as a beauty therapist, I was quite surprised at how different vulvas could be. Like most people, I had really only seen my own and for the most part, not spent much time studying it.

So, to be up close and personal in a variety of vaginas almost daily, I quickly learnt that all vulvas are normal and come in different shapes, colors and sizes. The Vulva Gallery is a great page to follow as they accurately depict the diversity that makes us unique, you are bound to find one in their gallery that looks like yours!

Photo credit: The Vulva Gallery

I think a lot of clients assume that we remember their lady bits, but to be perfectly honest most therapists are more focused on removing the hair and what sticks in our mind is how fast we can remove it. As you can see, from the different images above the way we tackle that comes down to the nature of the landscape.

The porn industry has made it hard for women to understand and accept what is considered normal. Our labia and vulvas seem to be the most misunderstood and misrepresented, with many people not realising that some of the actresses have had surgery to alter the appearance of their labia and that our own genitals can evolve over time.

When we are younger, the labia may look “tidy“- smaller, pubic hair may grow in a tidy triangle,/ or it can be completely fuzzed over.

As we get older the hair can either- get stronger and will appear to grow further out/ down your inner thigh. Some people notice after years of waxing or laser that they have patches with no hair. Also be prepared to spot a few grey hairs down there..

During pregnancy the whole area can get puffy / swollen, there can be enlarged veins and it will be more sensitive for waxing. The colour of your vulva and inner thigh can sometimes change from hyperpigmentation.

Post - birth the whole area can look and feel completely different again. Labia may look longer, tears , stretch marks and scars will also change the appearance, ALL of which is completely normal!

Photo Credit: Hilde Atalanta- The Vulva Gallery

One thing that should be mentioned is pelvic floor health, let's normalise talking about this and make it a priority to address! I once had a client turn up to an appointment with a pad that she had to hold down there while I waxed, as she was worried she would wee as the strips were being pulled off. She explained that after having two kids this is just how it was for her and she wore pads permanently.

I was a young therapist and didn't really know how to explain that this does not have to be permanent. There are pelvic floor physios and tools out there that can help reduce and heal these ailments permanently. Like any muscle this does need to be continuously worked on.

It's really important to acknowledge that there will be changes that we need to learn to explore, love and respect. Our bodies are amazing and you are amazing, so don't get caught comparing yourself to what it used to be like or to anything/ anyone else.

One day I had a client ask me if I had noticed if the skin inside her labia had changed and if it was normal. I felt terrible because I just don't really pay that much attention to the lay of the land! I had a good look and it did appear that the skin was paler so I referred her to gyno who later diagnosed her with a bacterial infection.

What this did make me realise is how intimate my role as a beauty therapist is, we are working on someones most private area that often only their partner has seen. If that person doesn't have a partner, you might be one of the only people who sees that part of them regularly. I have clients who have been with me for almost a decade and have become good friends, the stories and secrets shared on the table are something I hold close to my heart and have been what has kept me in this industry for so long.

Like bad haircuts, I have also had some interesting requests… From landing strips, triangles, requests for bejazzling (No we don't) and the debate on whether to have the boo hole done or not!

So let's jump into that quickly- just do it. The anatomy image above is quite accurate on what we can see when we are waxing, you're lying on your back and we can only get as far down as “your hole“. We ask our clients to roll onto their side, and to lift / spread their bum cheek. From there we can easily run a strip and get the fluffies in your boo crack and by your vagina entrance. It’s the easiest part of the treatment and people are often surprised how quick and painless it is. Once again we are sussing out how we can get the hair off easily, not eye balling your chocolate starfish. Just to confirm, Yes you do grow hair there and yes it is normal.

To wrap this piece up: new lumps, rashes, pimples, browny discharge, smell, radical colour change, is not normal and should be checked immediately by a doctor or health professional.

Different shapes, colors and sizes are normal so let's normalise exploring, embracing and owning what makes us unique.