Does mine look normal?

The Waxing Fantasy

It still amuses me how fascinated people are by brazilian hair removal. Many men assume that it's some type of sexual routine like the massage room videos off P hub and ask if we drizzle wax and oil all over the place. Bro, No.

Women ask HOW, like how do you do it? Is it weird? Is there a smell? How can you do that as a job?

Ok, so let's demystify the Braz. If you've had a Brazilian wax (with us) before you will know that our therapists are dressed in black uniforms (sorry guys) and will greet you on arrival then take you through to the treatment room.

There, you will see a bed with a paper liner on it, so you know noone else's bum has been on it. There is a rolled up modesty towel to drape over you and wet wipes to freshen up. The therapist will explain which clothing to remove then leave the room so you can get ready.

When they return we get the wax products ready, pull the towel to one side and assess the job. The therapist will then ask you to bend your leg to one side, and will start applying wax to the bikini line, slowly working their way in and across.

The treatment can be painful, it is hair being pulled out after all, so we try to encourage conversation to keep you distracted plus get to know you since we are right in your private bits. Women's treatments are generally straight forward, think of it like a triangle on top with two runways below. I try to clear the top triangle first then start at the bottom of the right lip/ runway. The biggest hurdle is having the confidence to apply hot wax in near the labia while not snagging her clit, simultaneously removing the hair and not the delicate skin that resides there. You really only get one shot at that, then must tweeze or risk grazing.

For men, you just never know what you're going to get. Women ask me what type of men get waxed; having visions of athletic rugby gods. Sorry to burst your bubble ladies, they're mostly middle-aged, full figured office workers. I once had this delightful (grandfatherly aged) gentleman book in, I explained the process then left him to it.

When I returned he apologised then said,

“I'm very sorry dear but it is quite big“

I rolled my eyes and pulled the towel over, to my surprise there was the biggest penis I have ever seen in my life. I then had to get him to pull that monster to the side so we could begin waxing the testes. The skin is tender but if pulled tight, powdered up and with the right wax we breeze on through. So I don't give extra sympathy to men with the “it must hurt more“ because all hair being pulled out hurts. Harden up.

I do have to say that men are far more fussy when it comes to removing every single hair. They will pull that sucker around inspecting it and pointing out any missed hairs. I definitely have an internal laugh. I'm sure no one (if anyone) they are with would even notice or care about a stray hair but okay bud.

Piercings are another obstacle that keep the job interesting. One of my clients has almost 7 in his testicles and I swear if he gets one more I will charge an extra $5 per piercing! He’s a lovely guy and I enjoy our chats but man every time I have visions of snagging a piercing and watching it fly out. I have to concentrate on exactly how close in I can get with the wax then tweeze around them.

A common question I get asked is if people smell. I guess I'm lucky most of my clients are considerate and shower first before their appointment. Some will be late just so they can whizz home and have a quick bird bath. However, this is why we have the wet wipes! I'm not really bothered if you've just come from work but please use them and get up in that booty too...

I can always count on my powder and trusty detol spray to mask most smells. I was low key a fan of wearing masks when it came to doing the last lil bit round the back.

In my former life, I was a health care assistant for 2 years. During that time, I was exposed to various types of bodies. I assisted wiping and washing bodies/ genitals for only $16 per hour. How can I do brazilians for a job?

Easily.